It’s a universally known experience to be welcomed into a space. Whether it’s entering a new job, joining a community, or moving into a new neighborhood, being greeted with smiles, handshakes, or words of encouragement is a pleasant gesture that everyone appreciates. However, while being welcomed is important, it is not the only thing that makes a place feel like home. True belonging goes beyond simple greetings or polite gestures—it’s about feeling wanted, valued, and accepted for who you truly are. This deeper sense of connection can be captured by the idea of welcomeandwantedco, where people are not just welcomed, but also truly made to feel an integral part of the environment.
It is one thing to be welcomed, to be invited in with the expectation that you’ll be comfortable. It is another to feel wanted, to know that your presence truly matters to those around you. To experience both simultaneously—stepping into something entirely new, yet instantly belonging—is something rare. This feeling of simultaneous acceptance and value, however fleeting it may be, is something that many people spend their lives seeking.
In this article, we will explore the nuances of belonging, the psychological and emotional aspects that make it so powerful, and how one can cultivate environments where individuals not only feel welcomed but also wanted.
The Difference Between Welcoming and Wanting
To understand the significance of feeling wanted, we must first distinguish between the concepts of being “welcomed” and being “wanted.”
Being welcomed is about receiving an invitation, whether physical or metaphorical, into a space. It is the act of extending hospitality, opening the door, and offering a seat. This is a form of social gesture that makes individuals feel comfortable, but it does not necessarily go deeper than that. When someone is welcomed, they may feel acknowledged or even appreciated, but they may not necessarily feel deeply connected or integral to the group or space they’ve entered.
On the other hand, being wanted transcends the mere act of welcoming. To feel wanted means to sense that you have a place, that your presence is not just tolerated but valued. It’s when your thoughts, actions, and feelings are considered important, when you become an integral part of a group. In this space, you are not just welcomed to occupy space but are actively invited to contribute, to bring something of yourself to the table. There’s an understanding that without you, the space would be incomplete.
When these two experiences—being welcomed and being wanted—align, the result is a profound sense of belonging. The magic happens when you step into a place where you’re not just invited to stay but also invited to thrive.
Why Belonging Matters
The need to belong is a fundamental human need, one that impacts our mental health, self-esteem, and overall sense of purpose. According to psychologist Abraham Maslow, belongingness is a key component of his hierarchy of needs, positioned right after physiological needs and safety. Maslow argued that individuals need to feel that they are a part of a larger group in order to experience fulfillment and happiness.
Humans are inherently social beings, and our brains are wired to connect. We are constantly seeking bonds with others—whether through family, friendships, romantic relationships, or work teams. The idea of being wanted speaks to this deep desire to form meaningful connections, to feel that we are not just another face in the crowd but a person whose existence matters. When we feel this sense of belonging, we are more likely to experience feelings of happiness, confidence, and purpose.
However, the lack of belonging can have the opposite effect. Isolation, loneliness, and rejection can lead to depression, anxiety, and even physical health issues. People who feel unwanted or excluded are more prone to experiencing negative emotions and may struggle with self-worth. This is why the experience of belonging—of feeling truly wanted—is so crucial. It influences not only our emotional well-being but also our physical health and our ability to contribute meaningfully to the world.
The Power of Feeling Wanted
The act of being wanted carries a sense of significance. It’s the feeling that you are not just occupying space, but that you are part of something larger than yourself. When someone truly wants you around, it means that your presence is considered essential, your voice is valuable, and your contributions are anticipated.
This can be experienced in various contexts—whether it’s within a family, a friendship, a professional environment, or a community group. For example, in a workplace, an employee who feels wanted by their colleagues and managers is more likely to be motivated, engaged, and satisfied with their job. Similarly, within a friendship, knowing that you are wanted can strengthen the bond and make you more open, vulnerable, and willing to give to the relationship.
Feeling wanted creates a sense of reciprocity. It’s a two-way street. When others want you, you naturally want to give back, to contribute more to the relationship, the group, or the community. This creates a virtuous cycle of connection and support, where everyone’s needs are met, and everyone benefits.
Additionally, feeling wanted is often linked to empowerment. When people feel that they have a purpose and a role to play, they are more likely to take initiative, lead, and feel confident in their decisions. They see themselves as integral parts of a whole, whether it’s a team, a community, or a family, and this fuels their motivation to engage and contribute.
How to Cultivate a Space Where People Feel Wanted
While it’s clear that feeling wanted is an essential part of belonging, the question arises—how can we create environments where individuals feel this sense of importance?
-
Active Participation: One of the easiest ways to make others feel wanted is by involving them in meaningful ways. Whether in the workplace, in a social group, or within a family, encourage active participation. Invite them to contribute their thoughts, ideas, and skills. This helps individuals feel that their input is valued and that they are a necessary part of the conversation.
-
Validation and Appreciation: Recognize and acknowledge the contributions of others. A simple “thank you” or “I appreciate your input” can go a long way in making someone feel wanted. Validation also comes in the form of offering constructive feedback and showing that you care about their growth and success.
-
Create Inclusivity: People want to feel that they belong and are accepted for who they are. Promote inclusivity by embracing diversity, not just in terms of race, gender, or background, but also in terms of ideas, perspectives, and personalities. An inclusive environment makes people feel welcomed and wanted, regardless of their differences.
-
Emotional Support: Show empathy and understanding. Be there for people in times of need. Emotional support fosters a sense of connection and helps individuals feel that their well-being matters. When people know that they can count on others for support, they feel wanted and valued.
-
Shared Goals and Vision: Ensure that everyone is aligned with the group’s mission or purpose. When people understand that their actions are working towards a common goal, they feel that their efforts are meaningful. This creates a strong sense of shared purpose and makes everyone feel that they are integral to achieving the group’s objectives.
The Challenge of Finding True Belonging
Despite the importance of belonging, true belonging can be elusive. Many people, even in social settings where they are welcomed, may still feel a sense of disconnection. This may stem from cultural differences, past traumas, or personal insecurities. It is important to acknowledge these challenges and offer support to those who may struggle with feeling truly wanted. Creating environments that foster both welcome and want takes time, effort, and sensitivity. It requires patience and a willingness to understand the complexities of human connection.
Ultimately, the experience of being wanted is rare because it taps into our deepest psychological and emotional needs. It is the feeling of being an essential piece in the puzzle, of knowing that we belong not by default, but by being truly needed. To step into a space and feel that we belong—that we are welcomed and wanted—is a gift. It is a rare, profound experience that enriches our lives in ways that go far beyond the superficial acts of greeting or invitation.
When we find such spaces, we are reminded of the power of human connection—the beauty of feeling both welcomed and wanted, a feeling that transcends any other form of acceptance. It is here, in these rare moments, that we discover the true meaning of belonging.